I feel it’s only my duty to bring it back to reality that all that glitters isn’t gold. It’s probably just your ADHD kicking in and the “oh shiny” gloss of the person’s exterior making you take a second look. A good slap up side the head will make you see straight, or at least get you to admit that you like the package but not what’s inside and hey, that’s at least a step. Sooooo step right up for a good slap of reality on how to spot a loser!
1. Doesn’t know how to fill out a job application!
Ok, this should be a big red flag! Don’t be fooled into thinking that this wonde
rful person is soooooo well off financial that s/he doesn’t need to work. From the ghettos of Los Angeles to Martha’s Vineyard in Massachusetts, and in between, real people have jobs. While it’s true that the financial fortunate don’t need to live paycheck to paycheck, having work ethics and strong principles is something most parents want to install in the next generation. So even if it’s volunteer while in high school, you have to fill out an application. So if the hunny bear you’re cozying up to can’t fill out anything beyond name, address and signature… RUN! It’s more than likely they are looking for you to be the suga daddy/mamma and you’ll need to fill out a lot of applications to keep the loser around depending on how high there taste runs!
2. Thinks "Having Kids" is the same as "Being a Parent"
In an idea
l world, children would live in a stable home environment with both parents. However, as humans we are flawed and as adults, can be just as selfish at the age of 35 as we were at the age of 5 in wanting what we want. Life does happen and staying together for the sake of children is neither advisable nor health for the parents or the children, but if your a Real Parent you NEVER abandon the relationship you have with your child because you are no-longer with your significant other. Now I won't get into all the drama that partners can cause one another when the relationship heads south. I will say that you can immediately spot a loser when any reference is made to baby momma, baby daddy or worse yet, plural references as in BABY MOMMAS and BABY DADDIES? Only loser's refer children and the people the have children to as if they are a piece of property and not a person. Responsible adults you would want to know will say "I'm a parent" or "I have a son", "I have 2 kids" and so on and so forth. And in referencing or acknowledging the person with whom these children were made, a name is given other than baby, such as, "James' father" or "Sheri's mother". Avoid the drama and the competition and these types. Having a relationship with a man or woman of this sort will only bring you more headaches or make you the newest addition to the Baby Mama/Daddy family.
3. "You pay for school, but you can't buy class"
Success and wealth is not equal or proportionate to class, tactic or intelligence. Perfect example this week Kanye West! I hate to bring more attention to him, but he is a classic example of
how money and social status don't necessarily equal class or even common sense. Here is a man who survived a horrific car accident that would have lift many dead if not permanently disabled and not only did he survived, but moved on to become one of the biggest hip-hop artist of his time. And yet he is so self-naracastic that he can't even let someone else win in a catergory that has nothing to do with him. In 30 seconds he managed to complete ruin a fabulous win for Taylor Swift in a category he couldn't be nominated in because it was Best Female Video, but someone he get his name attached to. How absolute tacky, low-class and infantial do you have to be steal the thunder from someone because you don't agree with the decision. People like will suck the life out of you. All the accomplishments in the world won't matter because they have no social breeding and common sense. So unless you are willing to be a door mat for the Kanye West's of the world, avoid these types of loser at all cost. They may very well have the wealth to move in big circles, but it won't matter when they've been blacklisted everywhere because the very thought of them sucks the life out of the room!
4. Do As I Say... Not As I Do (AKA Control Freaks!)
We've 
ALL encountered people like this in our lives... some of us have been able to run while some of us made the mistake of thinking this was a winner... you know those people who like you the way you are BUT think you should CHANGE this. Remember that anytime someone uses the words BUT or HOWEVER after a phrase, it takes away everything they said before hand. These people set on changing you are actually very charismatic and don't appear to be losers at all. They all appear strong and helpful and just want what's best for you... but in reality, its about them taking control over you. You'll hear things from the jump-start like , "Are you wearing that? Oh, no it looks great, but I think you would like better in this. Here let me help you." Sounds harmless and even very helpful because the other person is looking out for you. The problem is it won't stop here. Very quickly everything you say or do will not be good enough and will need to be changed. Funny, since you were good enough at the start to talk to ... now you need to change to sustain or maintain the relationship! RUN, far and fast. Men and women set on changing others will never be satisfied and unless you want to be a doormat for someone else, you will never be enough.
5. Self-Medicating Individuals
At some point in our lives we all will self-medicate, or decided to cure our own woes. It's part of our self preservation. It's also part of the society we are in when every other ad is a pharmaceutical ad on how to stop this or an alcohol beverage displaying people having a great time. You think to yourself, "Im feel crappy right now" and all those images of people playing people, looking beautiful, laughing it up and be social subconsciously float through your head and you head down to the club or bar and have a few drinks. It's socially acceptable and you may have had a good time and met a few people (just like in the commercial!). The nights over and you resume your normal activities the next day, recognizing that you were just having one of those days.
For Self-Medicating Individuals, this is not something they engage in a few times a month, this type of behavior, which is looking for some way to self-soothe, is a regular occurrence that is destructive and addictive. There are some underlining problems that need to be sorted out and unless that person is will to even acknowledge there is a problem, there is no hope! Recreational drug use is a gateway to self-medicating, and a good sign that this person has too many issues. In addition to drugs use (from marijuana to cocanie or Tylenol to Ritalin), alcohol and food are also used.
What makes such individuals "losers", is the destructiveness that comes along with self-medicating. It could be a very long time before you notice that the person you're involved with is self-medicating and of course because your in a relationship with this person you want to help. BE CAREFUL, because you can not change someone who does not feel there is anything wrong with them.
